How you communicate is part of your general style of relating. There are three styles of relating that are important to understand. Passive, Aggressive and Assertive. We will look at each one in detail.
1. Passive Style
People who relate in a passive manner often find it hard to take action to meet their own needs, often putting others needs before their own, or relying on others to meet their needs. People who relate in a passive manner often become resentful to others, hurt and angry as they believe they do not have the right to have their needs met. Many people who live with an Anxiety Disorder relate to others in a passive manner. Relating in a passive manner often erodes self esteem, and can often exasberate anxiety.
2. Aggressive Style
People relating aggressively usually believe that they know what is best for others. They often attempt to control others without taking other peoples needs into consideration. As with relating in a passive manner, relating aggressively is usually associated with low self esteem.
3. Assertive Style
People who relate assertively are able to recognise and express their feelings, thoughts, needs and opinions in an open and appropriate manner, as well as being able to listen tot he needs, opinions and feelings of others. When you are assertive, you can choose how to relate to people and situations rather than continuously acting passively or aggressively, believing you don't have any choice. When you can make choices how to relate, and are satisfied with those choices you will feel in control rather than resentful or angry. When you are assertive you do not need the approval of others, and believe in your own opinions. You are very clear about what is important to you while taking into consideration what is important to others. You are more likely to compromise and negotiate in situations as well as take responsibility for your own actions. As a result you will tend to develop a high self esteem and feel good about the choices you make, as well as have more control over your life. Being assertive will help to decrease high levels of anxiety.
It is important to be aware of how you relate to others. If you recognise problems in your style of relating, perhaps it is time to change and learn how to become more assertive. |
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